i can’t find my way up. out. over.
to my love. my loss. my light. ask if he found his way. from my arms to the stars. from tears to a smile. so radiant it settles on the sun. and erases time until the only moment that remains is when all this begun.
of something old but new. and i wonder if i am brave enough to be the change. to act as if. to finally be who my heart wills me to be.
trying to stifle the cries. the sobs. tears. more tears. still no end to this tragic miracle. of life. and death. more pain pushing to the surface. a thorn tearing through silk. i hold my breath. try and swallow the ache. heart break. eyes turn to the heavens. and suddenly i see. you. feel. you. wind dancing in treetops set against a crimson sky.
fall like tears. as your absence bores a hole into my soul. where all my love for you escapes. from this universe to the next. i cannot see my way through. so you fly to meet me above. below. in the middle. quiet and steady in your absence. beautiful and gentle in your memory. what you have left behind is me. ruined. but for the sliver of hope. that we will all be happy. some day. together.
a sky so beautiful. it hurts.
everything becomes nothing and too much at the same time. i cry for my son. for my mother, my sisters, my father, my friends. that they might hear my calls. they do not. i am alone.